They say that you shouldn’t believe everything you read in the papers and in no walk of life is this more true than with the footballing world. Reports this week have suggested that Manchester City forward Mario Balotelli, renowned for crashing cars, driving into women’s prisons and throwing darts at youth team players, is thinking about ways to factor in Manchester Christmas Parties to his team’s way of thinking.
The notoriously mischievous 21-year-old Italian has supposedly volunteered for the job of 2011 Christmas party planner and the news has some of his team mates worried. Given his past exploits you’d be forgiven for thinking that leaving this young man in charge of organising a party for players and staff is about as sensible as asking Wayne Rooney to chair a meeting at the Fair Play League, but we’ve got some foolproof suggestions as to how Mario can make his Manchester Christmas party the smoothest-running, most fun festive event he and his colleagues could hope for.
With money no object for City’s vast pockets of wealth we needn’t examine any budget options. The best Christmas party Manchester City style would have to be a little extravagant. The Masquerade Ball, being held a short drive from the team’s Etihad Stadium home, would be most appropriate for Mario and the gang.
Provided with elegant masks in the style of a Shakespearean Venetian soiree, Mario could get up to all kinds of cheekiness in the comfort of anonymity. He could flavour the punch with additional booze, place Whoopie Cushions on seats or even, according to Who Ate All The Pies, book the Christmas party at the same venue and on the same date as fierce rivals Manchester United’s Supporters’ Club Annual Dinner. Known to enjoy fine dining, Mario would glow with joy when laying eyes upon the feast before him.
If the old chap is still thinking about Christmas parties then he best get in touch post haste; availability is running low in our key locations, with Manchester being one of our most popular. And to all of you lot, keep an eye out at your Manchester Christmas party, for you may just spot a famous footballer lurking about!