What if we told you at least 80% of the people in your office had at some point had a steamy liaison with one of their co-workers? Or that ONE IN FOUR people in the UK has had their way with a colleague at the office Christmas party?
Chances are your first thought would be how disgusting that was, considering the kind of people you work with. But, according to a survey we hosted, a staggering four out of five workers in the UK have had saucy goings-on with a colleague.
This is important to know as we move into the festive season. Especially since, of those who answered yes to having had a workplace fling, more than one in four said that it started at the office Christmas party.
Now might be a good time to have another look around the office – notice any lingering glances? If you do it might be a good idea to start practicing your politest put-down lines for the office party (then again it might be a good incentive to start planning the perfume you’re going to wear on the night).
We surveyed more than two hundred office workers in the UK and came across some shocking revelations. Here’s what we learned, along with a little expert commentary…
Question 1: Have you ever been romantically involved with a colleague?
YES – 80.65%
NO – 19.35%
As we mentioned, that’s four in five people who have admitted to getting down and dirty with a colleague. But we didn’t stop there… We wanted to know more.
Question 2: Have you ever…
KISSED SOMEONE IN THE WORKPLACE – 33.64%
TAKEN IT FURTHER THAN JUST KISSING – 14.75%
GONE ALL THE WAY IN THE OFFICE – 16.59%
NONE OF THE ABOVE – 35.02%
It’s official – more than one in seven of you has done the business with a colleague in the office. Bear that in mind next time you go to grab a stapler from the stationary cupboard. You never know what might have happened on top of that stack of printer paper …
Question 3: Are you currently harbouring an office crush?
YES – 24.88%
NO – 75.12%
Lust. It’s a deadly thing. But you lot don’t seem to care – because almost a quarter of you are pining over a colleague as we speak. Here’s the bigger question though: are your fervent glances about to send you on a one-way flight into the danger zone?
Question 4: Have you had to change jobs due to the fallout of an office romance?
YES – 7.83%
NO – 78.80%
N/A – 13.36%
Apparently not it seems. Less than one in ten of the corporate Casanovas we surveyed said that their fling led to them having to sacrifice their job. Meaning almost four in every five workplace romances has a happy ending (so to speak). In fact…
Question 5: Has the romance in question led to a relationship, engagement or marriage? If so, which?
RELATIONSHIP – 29.03%
ENGAGEMENT – 2.76%
MARRIAGE – 12.44%
NEITHER – 55.76%
Our survey found that almost half of all those fiery encounters led to an ongoing thing. Better still, more than one in ten of our respondents told us that they ended up marrying their partner in crime. Now ain’t that just the sweetest thing?
Question 6: Was the romance at work premeditated or spontaneous?
PREMEDITATED – 22.58%
SPONTANEOUS – 61.75%
N/A – 15.67%
So there you are, 10.30am on a Wednesday, flicking between your quarterly report, client emails, and Facebook. You’re bored out of your mind. Then, suddenly, this pretty young thing appears out of nowhere, drags you into the cleaner’s cupboard and shows you the time of your life. What a pleasant surprise – and that’s how three fifths of you say your workplace hanky-panky started. However, for the other one-fifth, it seems there were more complex schemes at work – now might be a good time to check your shared server for files named plan_to_pull_boss.doc.
Question 7: Did you aim to keep your romantic liaisons secret from your peers?
YES – 63.59%%
NO – 21.2%
N/A – 15.21%
When the tingly haze settles and you’ve had your morning coffee together, the question will inevitably arise: should we tell anyone? One fifth of you chose to keep your dirty little secret zipped up, but almost two thirds of respondents couldn’t help but have a cheeky little brag. Shame on you dirty gossips – have you learned nothing from our office party infographic?
Question 8: When partaking in an office romance did you spend more time getting ready in the mornings to impress said partner?
YES – 49.31%
NO – 36.41%
N/A – 14.29%
And you wonder why people start asking questions. “Hey, your hair looks different … Are you wearing make-up today? … Is that a new tie? …” And so on. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to make an effort, but when colleagues start choking on the perfume you’ve drenched yourself in maybe it’s time to start scaling it back.
Question 9: Would you avoid eye contact with your partner when at work to diminish suspicion?
YES – 37.79%
NO – 48.85%%
N/A – 13.36%
If there’s one way to give the game away, it’s got to be this. There’s nothing more awkward than sitting in a meeting room with a pair of colleagues who won’t look each other in the eye for fear of breaking into giggles – it’s even worse than those “free spirits” in the office that insist on going barefoot. Then again, there’s also not much worse than having to discuss operationalising corporate synergy with someone you spent half of last night doing unspeakable things with.
Question 10: Did your office romance spark into life at the Christmas party?
YES – 25.81%
NO – 60.37%
N/A – 13.82%
In the run up to everyone’s favourite time of year, the knowledge that a quarter of office romances start at the Christmas party is handy ammunition. Make sure to be on guard for touchy-feely fingers and the inevitable Monday-morning debriefing. Because when the Vodbulls have had enough time to mix in your stomach, Bing Crosby’s “Winter Wonderland” has come on the jukebox, and you find yourself stood beneath the mistletoe, your time may come. And if it does, you’ll end up just another statistic in the next Eventa survey!
So here’s the bottom line: most of us just can’t keep our minds on the job. Those of us with the strength of mind to keep our hands to ourselves are in the minority. Managers and bosses take note – your office might not be the well-oiled machine you thought it was. Though it may be well-oiled in another sense…